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Page 1 of 2 A Harley-owner chronicles his trip from Florida to Pennsylvania
By Mike Rieker  When you purchase your ticket for Amtrak’s Auto Train you get to choose your dining time: 5, 7 or 9 p.m. The best news is meals are included in your ticket price. I chose 7 p.m. and at about 6:45 p.m., I made my way to the dining car. Fortunately, I had no repeat of my last trip through the passageways. I was seated with a lady traveling alone and an older couple who were taking their grandchildren up north. The kids were at another table. So far, so good.
I figured that since meals were included that grilled cheese and tomato soup would be the fare for the evening. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that I had a choice between New York strip steak, poached dill salmon and baked chicken. Any one of these would have sufficed. I decided on the salmon. I must say, it was cooked to perfection. A salad, baked potato and green beans complimented the meal and for desert we had four choices that were absolutely top shelf. Across the table, the older couple started telling me all about their grandchildren and their many accomplishments. Billy is a spelling champion, they said. Mardi won the regional swimming competition, they continued. By the time they got to Susie, I was looking for something crunchy to chew in order to drown out their voices. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my thigh. Both my hands were above the table. Looking to my left, I realized that the lady telling a joke was laughing and slapping my knee instead of her own. I haven't even gotten my salad down and she is already getting way too familiar. I didn't mind until things came to a screeching halt when she suddenly turned full face to me and offered a single-tooth grin that made me shudder. It was a bad tooth at that. Not a nice white straight tooth, but a brown one with a broken edge that jutted slightly out sideways. Ghastly is about the only description I can come up with. I would not have been so surprised if this woman had a crooked nose with a huge cranberry wart on it. But, she was really sort of attractive —with her mouth shut. I heard her order the steak and my mind went through about ten different scenarios of her trying to chew this steak with a single tooth. Before I knew it, I was giggling to myself. In a few moments, I was laughing. Have you ever looked at something and just couldn’t' help laugh? You regain your composure and then take another glance and laughter starts all over again. It's uncontrollable. You try to contain yourself and it just gets worse. The older couple is now looking at me like I am nuts or possessed with tears coming from my squinty eyes. As I start to choke on a crouton, I excused myself and walked between the cars to get the laughter out of my system. Returning to the table, I managed to get through an excellent dinner. They later offered us some fruit. I took an orange and the lady with the single tooth took an apple. I sort of snickered, but I let it pass until she took a bite and left a single skid mark in the side of the fruit. That was too much. The last straw. The last button on my shirt. I struggled through bidding all a "Good day" and had to get out of there. I retired to my little hole in the wall with an after-dinner cocktail and watched a movie on my iPod. What a great little invention for traveling. It was dark now and there was little to see out my window, so I decided to call it a day and turn in for the night.
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